Chapter 7: So Who’s hurting Again?
Gain took a walk in the park alone. She kept walking around the park until she found a familiar figure sitting on one of the benches.
She slowly approached him who was sitting alone.
He looked up and immediately turned away when he saw her. He got up from the bench and started walking in the other direction.
“I did love you Kwon. Probably not the way you loved me but I did love you.” She said quietly.
“Then why? Why did you left?” He asked; his back still facing her.
“Because I was afraid. I was afraid of your love Kwon. This sounds stupid but it’s the truth.”
“You expect me to believe that?” He said sarcastically.
“No. I don’t expect anything from you Kwon because I know I don’t deserve to.”
“You bailed out on us.”
“You left me.”
He turned around and looked at her. “You knew all these and you still hurt me. You didn’t say a single word Gain. No letters, no text messages, no calls, no nothing. You just left. Do you know how much that hurts?”
“No you listen. I loved you! I loved you so much that I got stupid! I practically spent two years waiting for you! I waited for anything just to get a whiff of you. Just to know that you’re safe somewhere eventhough I knew deep down that you’ve ditched me. I still waited, Gain. I waited and hoped for you like an idiot!” He told her bitterly.
He saw a pained expression on her face as she averted her gaze away from him.
“You didn’t know all these did you?” He added.
“I’m sorry..” Her voice trembled with emotions she was trying to bottle up.
“If only that apology can mean more than just words..”
“It does but you probably won’t believe that…” She looked at him only to have him looked away.
He didn’t say a word. He wasn’t going to cry infront of her. He decided that he had to be strong. He had to show her that he’s happy.
“I’ve found my happiness Gain. It took me long enough but I’ve found it.”
“She must be a lucky girl.” Gain smiled sadly at him.
“I’m the lucky one. I found someone who’s everything you’re not. She’s kind, loyal and most importantly, I know that she’ll never hurt me.” He said; purposely emphasizing his last words.
She turned away from him. “I’m glad you found her, Kwon.” She said and started walking away.
“I deserve better, Gain. I deserve better than you.” Kwon said to her back.
His words hit her like a bullet. She just let her tears go as she kept walking away.
He’s right. He deserves better than you.
Changmin tossed and turned in his bed trying to catch a wink of sleep but somehow failing miserably. There were just too many thoughts going through his mind.
He thought about Narsha again that night. All the things he couldn’t do for her and all the words he couldn’t say. He thought about them and couldn’t help but felt the emptiness enveloping him. Why couldn’t he say those three words to her? Why couldn’t he still be the person she leans on whenever she’s in need? Why couldn’t he?
One of these days she’s gonna find someone. And when that day comes, you’ll have no one to blame but yourself Lee Changmin!
He closed his eyes in another attempt to sleep but ended up shedding a silent tear. A tear that is unknown to anyone but himself.